Relaunch on Jekyll

I guess Wordpress finally got fed up with me not updating my theme to the latest version; so the last upgrade finally killed the site. Luckily, a few months ago I had already re-started a Jekyll redesign I actually started a few years ago, back when Jekyll was new and popular. So, with a little polish and brand-new deploy script, here we are! (I’m not technically finished, but if I waited until I was, there’d still be a broken Wordpress install sitting here.)

If you haven’t noticed the header yet, I’m not really much of a web developer anymore, I’ve been concentrating mainly on iOS for the past 4 years or so, so that’s the new topic for this site. Like last time, I’m still most-interested in UI development, so expect to find articles about Interface Builder, Autolayout, Storyboards, and Animation. That is, if I actually manage to write anything.

This time around the site is fully-static, which means no comments. I kept any interesting comment threads from the past, but killed the rest. Sorry. (Not really.) If you’re interested, see the Colophon for details on what makes this site tick. There’s also an updated “About” page and a brand new “Projects and Code” page as well.

Fixing the Gist Embed Widget when Using Bourbon, Neat, and Bitters

As an avid user of Gist embeds, when I added the thoughtbot Sass frameworks Bourbon, Neat, and Bitters to this site, I was a bit disappointed when the widget display was a bit broken:

Incorrectly-rendered gist embed.

A bit of debugging and I found that the culprit was table-layout: fixed, which was included by Bitters. A quick patch in my main.scss file and we were all fixed: (As you can see by this working gist!)

Hope it helps somebody else. If you’d like to use progressively-enhanced Gist embeds in Jekyll like this site, check out my jekyll-gist-tag on Github! (Turn off javascript to see what this does.)

Hammering Screws: Programmers and Tool Blindness

Disclaimer: Check the date! This post was written way back in 2008. If there are technical things in here, they may be outdated, or there may be better ways to do them by now. You've been warned.

screws.jpg In my last post I told a half-truth by ending with If you need me I’ll be uninstalling Eclipse. Honestly, I only removed it from my laptop because I rarely do any real Java development directly on my laptop, and should I need a quick code editor I have TextMate which handles most of my coding needs pretty simply. However, the commotion that the statement caused is what I’m going to address in this post.

If all you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail.
Bernard Baruch

To continue with my tools theme I’m going to address what I’ll call “tool-blindness,” the mentality that the tools you have and know how to use are perfect for every situation. In other words, if the tools you have require you to hammer screws then by-god you’re going to hammer screws.

Recently there has been a grass-roots, developer movement at my employer to switch from Ant to Maven. I love Maven, it’s leaps and bounds better than the way we were using Ant. (Notice I didn’t say Ant in general, I’m only planning on starting one holy-war with this post!) My last four projects have used Maven, and it makes the build and deploy process significantly easier, especially when it comes to dependancy management. However, everyone’s favorite Java IDE does not play well with Maven because Maven’s standard directory layout is significantly different from Eclipse’s convention. People have attempted to alleviate this problem by using the M2 plug-in and following the instructions here, but the result still feels like you’re forcing Eclipse to do something it doesn’t want to. Add that to the fact that the version of Eclipse we’re using crashes at least once a day, and you should be able to see why I’m looking for alternatives.

In short, our metaphorical hardware (the build process) has changed from nails to screws and our hammer (Eclipse) is no longer the best tool for the job. However, we’re still using the hammer because it’s what everyone knows how to use and only a few of us are not tool-blind enough to look for something else. It also doesn’t help that the alternatives that play nicely with Maven, namely IntelliJ IDEA and Textmate-and-a-shell are not “free as in beer.”

As I mentioned in the comments of my last post, Eclipse has been feeling a little more like this tool than this one. So maybe it’s time to ask which tool you really want on your tool belt.

In an interesting turn of events, Alex Vazquez over at Wufoo/Particletree is going through the same process with a different perspective. Alex is moving, based in part by recommendation and in part by language choice, from Java on Eclipse to PHP on Textmate, and he seems to be liking it so far. Alex does, however, sum up Eclipse rather nicely, and coincidentally within my theme:

The right development environment can save a programmer countless hours and is like a hammer in the carpenter’s tool belt. Since my background was in Java, my preference was for large sledge hammers and my development environment of choice was the de facto Java IDE Eclipse. It has a number of amazing features like autocomplete, refactoring and hundreds of plugins for every task imaginable. It’s no secret Java requires mountains of code, but Eclipse was made to move mountains.
Alex Vazquez

I think Alex really nails (pardon the pun) the fact that if you’re going to be doing Java Enterprise development you need an IDE that can handle it. You need something that generates the code and provides the re-factoring tools and autocompletion to make it possible to move mountains. However I’d like to pose a question to all Java developers who use Eclipse; how much of Eclipse do you really use? Besides re-factoring, code completion/generation, and cvs/svn/scm integration, is there anything else you couldn’t live without? Anything else that Textmate doesn’t do? (Besides run on Windows, we’ll save that tool for a different day.) Look at all of the stuff Eclipse does that you don’t use, is the added bulk really worth it? How much memory is your Eclipse process using right now? (Mine’s got ~254MB, 5x more than the next largest memory footprint, and my Eclipse process is basically idle.) Just my two cents, please form your own opinions, after all I’m just a kid who couldn’t possibly have any experience.


Disclaimer: I've grown up a bit and learned a lot since this blog was started. In the beginning I took tips from the likes of John Chow and Shoemoney and tried to write titles and content for Digg and Reddit. In the end it didn't do me much good and most of it just seems silly looking back. If you're interested anyway, here's what I wrote back then, but take it with a grain of salt.

A quick welcome to everyone passing through via DZone! Please subscribe, I’d love to have you back!

If you’re new here, please excuse the mess, it’s still a work in progress since the content has been my number one priority. Speaking of content, I finally replaced the default Wordpress about page, so go check mine out if you’re interested!

Coding Your Fingers Off - Hand Tools, Power Tools, and Programmers

Disclaimer: Check the date! This post was written way back in 2008. If there are technical things in here, they may be outdated, or there may be better ways to do them by now. You've been warned.

saw.gif I have read quite a few posts recently on the lack of quality programmers, web or otherwise, available in the current market. I’ve even written a post myself on some of the “differences” in the technology stack between now and when I started programming professionally just four years ago. Some people are saying we need to encourage children to become programmers, others are questioning the languages that are taught in schools, still others are criticizing the things that are not taught (or encouraged) during secondary education. I’m going to question how things are taught.

I spent my first year of college at RIT, not to downplay my last three years at Muhlenberg, but everything I really needed to learn I learned in three quarters at RIT. Computer Science 101-103 had labs in a Sun Unix lab. We wrote Java code using Emacs from a shell. We compiled it from that shell. We checked it into RCS from that shell. We ran diffs from that shell. We submitted our completed assignments from that shell. We loved that shell, whether we wanted to or not.

We did not have an IDE, not in today’s sense anyway; there was no code complete, re-factoring tools, or visual SCM merging tools. In the process we learned Unix, we learned how to grep, how to use sed and awk, telnet, ssh, and command line ftp. We learned how the internet worked by first learning how a network worked. We learned to write code, use a computer, and use the internet with the functional equivalent of hand tools. In the process we learned and understood how and why it all fit together.

As a matter of illustration, I’m reminded of the Home Improvement television show that was on when I was a kid. In it, Tim Allen plays Tim Taylor, the host of a cable TV tool show called Tool Time. He has an assistant, Al Borland, played by Richard Karn. On the show, Tim’s motto is “more power,” which usually leads him to the biggest Binford Tools power tools, disastrous projects, and eventually the emergency room. Al, on the other hand, is more of a renaissance man, appreciating the beauty, elegance, and simplicity of hand tools and the wood they’re used on. Although I don’t think it was ever stated, Al never ended up in the emergency room. Which character would you hire to work on your house?

But I digress, we’re seeing more and more computer science grads who have worked only on Windows. They’ve used Eclipse and Visual Studio. They know how to use the very basic IDE functionality with the mouse and they live and die by ctrl+c and ctrl+v. They were given power tools in the very beginning of their careers and now quite a few of them have figuratively managed to cut their fingers off. They’re crippled programmers because the “more power,” here’s-a-monsterous-power-tool-that-does-everything-you’ll-ever-need-really-fast attitude has physically removed their ability to operate the simple tools that solve their problems in an elegant manner. They’re afraid of the shell because they don’t know how to use it, but they’re not afraid of the IDE because it has a big, shiny button that promises to make their life easier if they press it. Power tools in the real world have warnings about loss of life and limb if operated incorrectly. Sadly, power tools in the digital world do not.

So, I propose my solution. Bring the hand tools back into the classroom. Eliminate IDE’s from the educational system. Teach students to use the shell, and with it the tools of our hacker forefathers. Let them nick their fingers with a hand saw instead of cutting them off with a circular saw. Encourage them to use open source. Encourage them to contribute to open source. The web in general runs on it, they should know how it gets made, and know how to give back to the community that has made a large part of their future pay possible. Teach them Emacs or Vi. Give them cvs, svn, or git, and teach them to read a diff. Make them create a website and share what they’re learning, or at least participate in the forums of some pet open source project.
Do them a favor and scare the ones who aren’t meant to be doing this out of the profession. If they don’t have the passion to persevere they need to find something else to do. Ladies and gentlemen of academia, I ask you for one thing. Stop manufacturing cookie-cutter, power-tool graduates and start nurturing artesian, master programmers.

Thank you. If you need me I’ll be uninstalling Eclipse.


  1. Eric Wendelin:

    I think your solution is perfect and if I'm ever teaching in this decade or the next I will likely force my students to use the CL. There is a certain sort of understanding you acquire when you do things this way.

    June 17, 2008 9:43 am

  2. Chris Hall:

    The right tools make a developer more productive. Providing shortcuts, automating repetitive tasks, and hiding all of the little nuts and bolts lets them concentrate on getting things done. And that's what it's all about.

    Unfortunately, tools are often used as a crutch.

    If you're in the field long enough, you'll run into situations where your standard tool set isn't available. Maybe you need to make a quick template tweak on a live server, or work on-site as part of a client's team using a tool set you've never seen before. How you handle that is what separates "good" from "good enough".

    June 18, 2008 6:47 am

  3. James E. Ervin:

    Don't worry about uninstalling Eclipse, it will be there for you when you grow up kid. ;)

    First off I want to preface my comments, you were a kid when Home Improvement was on the air and yet you are pontificating like an experienced developer?? Whew, I need a moment to sit down and catch my breath, I don't like where that is going.

    Still I don't disagree with your general point. I think it would be better stated as your best power tool is still the one between your ears and not on your desktop. The problem is not the power tool per se, the trouble is that there are people now that do not understand the reason for the power tool. I agree with you that people starting out need to get it from the basic level. I still think that my training as a Computer Engineer serves me well writing software. I started out with logic design, chip design, and began programming from the assembly language level up. This education gave me an understanding of how computers actually work and then my exposure to various Unix distributions showed me how an operating system should work. Perhaps the way forward is to stop hiring CS grads?? *Duck*

    In defense of the power tool, Home Improvement was a good comedy, but you are perhaps too young to remember what it was based on. Home Improvement really was a parody of the old "This Old House" program on PBS. Tim is Bob Villa and Al is Norm. The reason why I mention this is that if you ever watch Norm's "New Yankee Workshop" on PBS you will notice two distinct things. First, Norm is an extremely skilled craftsman. Two, Norm, the real life Al, uses all kinds of Power Tools.

    June 18, 2008 8:16 am

  4. admin:


    Ouch. ;)

    Why do you assume that because I was a "kid" when Home Improvement was on I am not an experienced developer? I grew up on the web and writing software. While I may only have 4-years post-college experience I've been doing web development professionally for 12, which in this industry's case is damn near forever.

    But pontificating aside, I might have lost part of my point, which thankfully you have pointed out. Norm, or Al in my example, can and should use power tools, since he has the experience and understanding of the medium in general to improve his own efficiency.

    Just as your experience in CE makes you a better programmer, the experience I'm advocating in "IT" can do the same for web programmers. If these kids don't know how a network really works how can we ever expect to write a web application. And by "kids" I mean the ones that wrote their first "hello world" in college, not the ones that installed linux on their parent's PC in the 8th grade.

    As far as Eclipse goes, I'll allow it back on my laptop when it starts be useful with Maven. Until then it's TextMate and a terminal for me.

    June 18, 2008 10:45 am

  5. Abhijeet:

    I agree with you that using the shell and command line tools to do things is a great way to learn. But uninstalling Eclipse isn't going to help. On the contrary, its going to slow me (and you?) down a LOT. I can't imagine loading .java files one after other just to trace the flow. Whats wrong with F3? Its more like...right tool for the right job.

    June 19, 2008 4:27 am

  6. admin:


    I suppose my treatment of Eclipse is a little rash, but recently it has not been fitting very well in my programming tool belt. If you are programming with java there is no doubt in my mind that you should have some sort of IDE, it just makes life easier, and the language practically requires it for its current design paradigms. (Generate getters and setters saves me hours!)

    Like you said it is a case of the right tool for the right job, and at least in my recent experience with Eclipse, it's feeling a little more like this tool (does everything but is it really that useful?) than this one (everything you really need and it still fits in your pocket!) Personally, I'm craving something a little simpler for a while, I'm not saying I'm going to go mountain man and only develop with vi, but it is still possible to be an effective developer without using a full IDE.

    June 19, 2008 4:50 am

  7. Chris:

    Interesting metaphor. As a die-hard emacs user, I also enjoyed the conflicting metaphor:

    July 10, 2009 7:38 pm

Border Weirdness in Internet Explorer

Disclaimer: Check the date! This post was written way back in 2008. If there are technical things in here, they may be outdated, or there may be better ways to do them by now. You've been warned.

While helping a friend rework his Vintage Board Games site (rework not live yet), we came across an interesting IE bug. In a nutshell, in some cases, IE was placing a CSS background image relative to the outside of an element’s border instead of the inside.

The simplified markup of the bug and CSS are as follows:

Basically, it’s a two column layout with the columns wrapped in a div that has a large border. (That div also has a background image set on it. The .container div seems extraneous in this example but was a requirement for the layout.) The desired rendering of this markup should look something like the following: (Note: the black/brown box is the background image.)


But in IE, we get this:


If you don’t trust my images, please try for yourself.

We quickly found two solutions to this problem, the first involved altering the alignment of the background image to be center instead of left:

This is how we actually solved the problem on the site. The second solution I found while attempting to narrow down the cause of this problem. For this solution we simply set a min-height on the .content div:

I’m assuming this is some sort of hasLayout issue and giving the div a min-height (height in IE6, accomplished with conditional comments in my example) also gives it layout, but I honestly have no idea what causes this. Anybody have any thoughts?

The Parable of the Plumber and the Programmer

Disclaimer: Check the date! This post was written way back in 2008. If there are technical things in here, they may be outdated, or there may be better ways to do them by now. You've been warned.

One day a small business owner, known to dabble in the do-it-yourself arts, was reading the visitor statistics from the website that his nephew had made him. Disappointed by the long page loads, low traffic, and cross-browser inconsistencies, the small business owner went to his kitchen for a glass of water. He turned on the faucet and nothing happened. A minute later, water started pouring out from under the sink. Quickly, he turned off the water and rushed back to his computer and looked up the name of a local plumber, he called, and had a plumber dispatched immediately. By chance, he also saw an advertisement for a local “low-cost, satisfaction guaranteed, web developer” and called him as well.

Twenty minutes later, they both arrived. Apologizing for the timing and offering a cup of coffee, the small business owner asked if the web developer wouldn’t mind waiting while he got the plumber started. The web developer, figuring he’d only had six cups of coffee today, decided a little waiting was not a problem.

The small business owner took the plumber to the water shut-off valve, and the plumber quickly shut it off. While discussing the solution, the small business owner told the plumber that he would like all of the pipes from the valve to the sink to be replaced with PEX pipes instead of the existing copper. Concerned, the plumber warned that there was nothing wrong with the existing copper pipes and that he was unsure if PEX was even allowed by local commercial building codes. The plumber even offered to first double-check the codes, but in a hurry to get back to the web developer before he drank all of the coffee, the small business owner told the plumber to just do it. He blindly signed the contract, completely ignoring the written warning about violating building codes, and left the plumber to do the job.

Relieved to have one problem scratched from his list, the small business owner left the plumber and returned to the web developer, who had already drank all of the coffee. Annoyed, the small business owner began making a new pot of coffee while explaining the problem with his website. Hearing the same thing a thousand times before, the web developer began his speech about web standards, usability, accessibility, and information architecture. Within seconds, the small business owner’s eyes had glazed over, and he began ignoring everything the web developer said.

A few hours passed. The plumber finished the job, the small business owner signed the web developer’s boiler-plate contract with 100% satisfaction guarantee, and both the plumber and the web developer left the small business owner to finish his list of things-to-do.

About a month later, the web developer returned to the small business owner’s office to show him the finished product. Coincidentally, the city building inspector arrived at the same time. Learning his lesson about web developers and coffee from the last visit, the small business owner told the building inspector that the work was done down the hall in the first room on the right, and left him to his job.

The small business owner and the web developer went to a computer and the web developer showed the small business owner the finished product. Unimpressed by the lack of motion, flashing, and changing colors the small business owner said that the new site was “nice, but needs something.” The web developer, who truthfully knew this was coming, began regretting his 100% satisfaction guarantee. By the time the small business owner was done stating his “satisfaction requirements,” the site had lost its information architecture, the typography was small and low-contrast, the flash-intro was back, and bigger than ever, and the back end programming was changed from a lightweight CMS to a large enterprise framework that the small business owner’s friend had heard about at a trade show. Concerned for his portfolio, but tired of this particular client, the web developer left the small business owner’s office; defeated and hoping to just get the job done as soon as possible.

Glowing from his victory against the tasteless web developer, the small business owner went down the hall to find the building inspector. The building inspector was sitting in the corner of the room finishing up his report on the plumbing changes. He looked up from the paper and told the small business owner that all of the PEX pipes had to be removed because it was against code in a commercial building. Aghast, the small business owner quickly called the plumber to chastise him for performing such a blatant building code violation. Unimpressed, the plumber simply referred the small business owner to section 4c of their signed contract where it stated that the small business owner had been informed of all building codes to the best of the plumber’s knowledge and that any specific requirements performed by the plumber per the customer were the responsibility of the customer. The plumber also stated that he would be glad to come out and replace all of the PEX with brand-new copper, under a brand-new contract.

About a month later the “improved” website was live and still suffering from the same long page loads, low traffic, and cross-browser inconsistencies. The web designer however, had already folded his company and taken up a new career as an apprentice to the local plumber.

The Morals

Mostly everything we do as web developers is according to some specification or recommendation, but it’s still very easy to ignore them all and still produce a “functioning” website. We compete in an amazing marketplace against everyone from the boss’ nephew to Fortune 500 companies. Because of this, highly skilled web developers working at small companies or even as freelancers often make stupid promises, including 100% satisfaction guarantees. These guarantees do not help anyone because the client is rarely satisfied, the end result isn’t worthy of the web developer’s portfolio, and none of the original problems have been solved.

Plumber’s have the law, the union, air-tight contracts, years of collective experience, and the fact that there’s no such thing as WYSIWYG plumbing software to keep the average Joe from calling themselves master plumbers.

The Soapbox

I’m not sure if it’s a question of attitude, experience, or the fact that there are parts of the plumbing profession that literally stink, but people rarely tell a plumber how to do their job, and I doubt many plumbers would even let someone if they tried. To the same extent, a plumber’s work is usually not up for scrutiny in the public eye, in fact other than in basements and under sinks, it’s rarely even visible to the property-owner’s eye.

So what’s my point? With the amount of very talented web developers and designers available world wide, the web has the potential to be a very beautiful, very usable, and very accessible place. However, the web wasn’t build by graphic artists, typographers, interactive designers and information architects, it was built by tinkerers, inventors, and do-it-yourselfers, kind of like the first indoor plumbing. We have a long way to go before there are laws requiring best practices, and professional reputations that allow us to say “this is the way I’m going to do it, and it’s non-negotiable.” But that doesn’t mean we should stop educating our customers and return to table based layouts and excessive use of the blink and marquee tags. It means there’s a light at the end of the tunnel. Until until we reach that time, sell the fact that you’re an expert and not the fact that you’re guaranteeing satisfaction. Let your work speak for itself, a well-designed and well-implemented site will just work and will lead to a satisfied customer, whether or not it’s been guaranteed in writing.

Found Code: Optimizing Large Form Performance in JavaScript

Disclaimer: Check the date! This post was written way back in 2008. If there are technical things in here, they may be outdated, or there may be better ways to do them by now. You've been warned.

As I’ve covered before, ill-used JavaScript can lead to some serious performance problems, most of which are caused by simply not thinking about what the code is really doing. Recently I came across a site that provided digital photo printing, This site had a nice interface that allowed my to upload close to three hundred photos. On the resulting page, each photo was displayed with all of the available sizes as input boxes, which looked something like this. I liked the interface, but came across a very serious problem. The event handlers that updated the totals box ran on the keyup event and recalculated the total of the entire form! This worked fine with ten or twenty photos, but the 300 that I provided brought my browser to a screeching halt.

I’ve taken the liberty of creating a very simplistic mock-up of the form and a simplified version of the JavaScript, which is available in my examples section. The demo uses Firebug and Firebug Lite for logging just like I did in my dollar function article, and the benchmark class from that article as well. The site’s JavaScript was a bit more complex and actually did an AJAX lookup of the price on each keyup, but I’m more concerned with the JavaScript performance here, so I simplified the code to something like this:

Basically, on window load, this code grabs every input element, sets its value to zero, and binds an event handler to it. The event handler runs on key up and loops through every input box in the “pictures” list, and updates the totals inputs at the top of the page. As I said above, this code works fine with 20 pictures, but it starts getting slow around 300, and becomes almost unusable at 1000. Care to try 10,000? (Be careful, it crashes my browser!)
To test it, simply enter values in the photo inputs and watch the totals boxes increment.

The main problem with this code comes from the recalculate function. Problem number one is my personal pet peeve, the dollar sign function is called at least six times! Well, I guess six times wouldn’t be terrible for the entire page, but it’s called at least six times on every key up event! Problem number two, the biggest problem, is the fact that this code re-crawls what amounts to the entire DOM every time the event fires. Obviously the larger the DOM, the more time this is going to take.

So, how do we fix it? Well, here’s how I fixed it, I’ll explain the details below:

To solve problem number one from above I created a simple object for storing references to all of the total input boxes (lines 9-14), now we have a simple associative array lookup whenever we need to update a total. Problem number two is mainly solved by recording the original value of the input on focus (line 22, 31-35), and then comparing them on blur (line 23, 37-54). Because we’re doing this on blur, we can update only the necessary total input (lines 45-49) instead of recalculating the entire form. I made one final tweak, mainly to make solving problem number one easier, and that is the recalculate function now returns a specific event handler for the given input so that the event handler itself does not need to call the dollar function.

So, comparing these in my regular, not-very-scientific fashion, I came up with the following results. I chose to measure the startup time, which will increase with the size of the page, as well as the event handler time. I also measured these times across a pretty decent amount of pictures, and across a few browsers.

Safari (OS X)

Optimized Time Unoptimized Time
Pictures Load (ms) Handler (ms) Load (ms) Handler (ms)
10 4 0 6 3
50 17 0 14 13
100 33 0 24 26
1000 365 0 452 178

Internet Explorer 7 (Windows Vista)

Optimized Time Unoptimized Time
Pictures Load (ms) Handler (ms) Load (ms) Handler (ms)
10 56 0 48 9
50 238 0 213 76
100 457 0 424 235
1000 4642 0 4584 28110

28 seconds!? Why!?

Firefox 2 (Windows Vista)

Optimized Time Unoptimized Time
Pictures Load (ms) Handler (ms) Load (ms) Handler (ms)
10 12 0 8 7
50 45 0 31 30
100 87 1 60 59
1000 985 3 584 581

The results pretty obviously speak for themselves, but there is one caveat, be sure to notice the initial load time. Since the event handlers still need to be assigned to each input on the page the more inputs there are the longer the page load takes, and the load time is even slightly slower on the optimized page. Be sure to consider this time, possibly by capping the number of inputs displayed, since the code itself is very processor intensive and appears to actually hang the entire computer while processing. Obviously, these fixes become more important as the number of inputs grows, but any speed increase when the user is directly interacting with the page is a good one!

Psychology, Avatars, and My High School Yearbook

Disclaimer: I've grown up a bit and learned a lot since this blog was started. In the beginning I took tips from the likes of John Chow and Shoemoney and tried to write titles and content for Digg and Reddit. In the end it didn't do me much good and most of it just seems silly looking back. If you're interested anyway, here's what I wrote back then, but take it with a grain of salt.

At one point in high school I went to a workshop on making a great yearbook. It was interesting, got me out of a day of school, and really helped with the two pages of the book I actually got to work on. Besides that, I took out of it a few facts about portrait composition, mainly that looking right is generally associated with looking into the future and looking left into the past. Recently there’s even been some talk about Obama and his “looking into the future” pose, which definitely follows these guidelines.

But seriously, The Onion aside, every self-respection “Web 2.0” site out there has some sort of avatar available to its users. What does your avatar say about you? Well, I’m no psychologist, in fact I didn’t even take the course on it in college, but here’s what I think anyway.

  • Facing Right - Already covered, looking into the future. Possibly optimistic, probably at least positive in nature.
  • Facing Left - Again, already covered, looking into the past, possibly back through history.
    Nostalgic. May or may not be negative, sometimes may seem a little jaded.
  • Looking Straight Ahead - Sometimes dominant, sometimes playful, sometimes creepy. As with the next two seems to have more to do with the rest of the facial expression.
  • Looking Up - If straight ahead, can be submissive or unconfident, if facing right, increases positive feel, if left, seems narcissistic.
  • Looking Down - If straight head, definite dominance, if left or right, shows increasing negativity on past or future view.
  • Serious - Boring, possibly pompous; only has an avatar to get 100% on LinkedIn profile or because boss or some self-help personal-branding article said so.
  • Goofy - Fun, party-animal, not ready to settle down now, or potentially ever. Probably not the best worker-drone code-monkey but could make a great rock star.
  • Picture of Somebody Else - Personally, I find this quite creepy. Usually very hard to actually identify these, in my experience when meeting somebody in the real world and finding their avatar doesn’t match I get a little turned off. This can be pulled off ironically by using an obvious-not-you type of photo as more of a caricature, but I have only seen this pulled off well a few times.
  • Picture of Somebody Famous - The more famous the better, if the picture is not recognized by he majority of your audience it simply becomes “Picture of Somebody Else” and therefore loses its power. May also appear very stalker-like or just plain juvenile if done in a fan-boy manner.
  • Professional Portrait - See “serious” above, screams real estate agent, lawyer, sales person, or scammy-internet marketer.
  • Candid - Probably my favorite type. Seems sincere and real.
  • Group Photo - Lack of self-confidence or own identity, possibly critical of own appearance.
  • Caricature - Makes me wonder about self-confidence, but could be done in irony. Potential for inside jokes here. A good caricature plays on flaws, so this may say positive things about self confidence.
  • Animal(s) - Awe!!!1 OMG look at the cute kittens and ponies! I can haz cheesburger? Seriously. Unless you’re twelve or doing it for purely and obviously ironic reasons I usually look down on this as somebody I’m not even interested in listening to.
  • Logo or Mascot - Definitely used for self-branding or maybe just branding in general, if done well can be a great asset, but may also appear very spammy if done poorly. May say things about self-image or confidence, especially if hiding behind anonymity.
  • Object - Like an animal, logo, or picture of somebody else, this gives the user complete anonymity and can become very hard to read-into. Lots of room for irony or playfulness can allow personality to shine through, but if not done well it may just turn into a poor inside joke.

Now, please understand, I’m not necessarily criticizing ANY use of an avatar in one of these manners; in fact there is probably somebody out there that has a very good reason for using a pony for their avatar, and I’m sure they do it well. I’m just saying this is what my first impression of you is based on the two seconds I’ve had to see your avatar.

Well, what do you think? Am I right? Am I completely wrong? Did I just insult you and your mother with my analysis of your avatar? Just to remind you, I have no scientific backing for doing this, which I’m guessing makes it a better analysis, but if you disagree, tell me why I’m wrong.

Google Giveth and Google Taketh Away

Disclaimer: I've grown up a bit and learned a lot since this blog was started. In the beginning I took tips from the likes of John Chow and Shoemoney and tried to write titles and content for Digg and Reddit. In the end it didn't do me much good and most of it just seems silly looking back. If you're interested anyway, here's what I wrote back then, but take it with a grain of salt.

Michael Martinez over at SEO Theory recently posted an interesting article on contract law, terms of service, and how they apply to the web. It’s worth a read and raises some interesting points, but my main beef is the loosely stated complaint about Webmaster Guidelines, specifically those of everyone’s favorite search engine. This complaint, and variations on it, have been bouncing around the SEO/M and Affiliate communities for a while now and I’ve heard more than enough whining on the subject. Frankly stated, it seems they don’t like the fact that they actually need to work in order to keep their spam profitable on the search engine result pages.

Google, as with most other search engines, is a business. In order to actually remain in business, contrary to popular belief on the web, they need to make a profit. In most web business models profit is proportional to the number of users. So far, at least in my opinion, all of this is web business 101. Google has its number of users for one reason, as of now it’s arguably the easiest and most accurate search engine available. Google will retain its users as long as it remains the easiest and most accurate search engine available.

Easy is something that Google has down pat, you can’t get much easier than a single input and a button, accurate is where it gets interesting. In order to remain accurate Google needs to be unmanipulatable. Their algorithm needs to return the most relevant and authoritative content possible, and that means excluding spam. If you’re not publishing the most relevant and useful content out there you don’t deserve to be listed, let alone rank on the first page.

For better or for worse, the bulk of SEO exists to manipulate the search engines, and if you think otherwise you’re seriously deluding yourself. Don’t get me wrong, I believe SEO is absolutely necessary, if you don’t at least try to be listed in the search engines there’s a pretty good chance your site will never be found. However, SEO is only the start, it’s the framework to build your content upon. Good SEO establishes a solid base for accessibility, findability, and information architecture, which is a good thing. Good SEO, however, is not magic. If you do it the Google-approved “right” way it will probably take a decently long time to get a specific ranking, but once you have it, it should be pretty difficult to lose. Taking a shortcut and ignoring the webmaster guidelines may prove useful and in some cases successful, but comes with the underlying risk of being delisted altogether.

Basically, what I’m saying is that SEO, be it black hat or white hat is a gamble. It’s a simple question of risk versus reward, and relies very heavily on your business model. If your business model is to make a quick buck over a short-term, by all means, go black hat, but don’t complain when you’re discovered and your profit dries up. However, if your business model is to make a long-term name for yourself or your business, go white hat, take your time producing quality, relevant content, and rely on Google to keep the spam from appearing ahead of you in the SERPs.

Either way, Google will continue doing what they do, producing to the best of their ability the most relevant SERPs for a given query, and they’ll change their algorithm whenever necessary to make it happen. Instead of complaining about the Webmaster Guidelines, thank Google for them, without them you’d be shooting in the dark. Instead of complaining about quality guidelines, thank Google for them, the higher the consistent quality of the ads and results Google displays the greater the chance they’ll be clicked on.

Complaining about and attempting to change Google’s practices on these points will not help you in the long run. Take a second and think about this. If Google lowers its quality control standards to appease the SEO’s and affiliate marketers, Google becomes less useful to the end user. If Google becomes less useful, less end users will actually use it. If less end users actually use Google, you have less potential customers, and like it or not your profits are going to be less as well.